She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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