You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
