these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
