my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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