Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
