My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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