that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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