NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
