I CAN MOONWALK!
I understand Curling. That high.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Randomize
