They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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