oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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