I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
