I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
