I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
