dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
