the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
