Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
