trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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