people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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