who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
There was a lot of him and a little penis
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
