Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
