i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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