Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
