So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think your dad took our porno
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
