Small penises have feelings too.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
BRING THE BAGELS
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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