pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
