Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You were trust falling into bushes
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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