So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
