Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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