STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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