i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
