Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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