very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
