I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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