I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
