dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
