I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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