dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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