My nipple is on Facebook.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Randomize