I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
