I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
