It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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