I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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