ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
