So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
