do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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