do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
