he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
