hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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