butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
