The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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