Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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