Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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