btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
