I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
