Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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