I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
