Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
