she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize