how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
