Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
