If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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