just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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