matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
