are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Drunk is not a location!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
